I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize