Umm I'm too high to move.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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