told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore