we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Deaf chicks here I come
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
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I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
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My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.