I can't watch pbs sober anymore
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.