I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
