If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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