pop tarts are not kleenex
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
