he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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