Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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