yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
