Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Randomize
