I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
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