mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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