I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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