She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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