Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
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I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
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I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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