at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
