i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
