mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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