You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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