Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(708): View more from Illinois

chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined

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(919): View more from North Carolina

It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.

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(520): View more from Arizona

This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards

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(315): View more from New York

Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here

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(410): View more from Maryland

that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night

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(850): View more from Florida

Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out

(506): View more from New Brunswick

That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said

(336): View more from North Carolina

i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids

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(203): View more from Connecticut

How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up

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