So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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