can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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