she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
