I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I have post one night stand depression
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
