omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
