she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
