I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
