I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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