just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
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The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
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The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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