2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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