Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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