Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
my shit smells like andre
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
