nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
