i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
