ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I cockslap morals
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
