does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
