Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
