Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
