all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
