Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
