It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
