# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I have aggressive nipples.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
