i would punch a child for taco bell
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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