Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
