i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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