He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
