I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize