So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
