just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
