she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
