i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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