i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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