I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
