You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
