He kissed a someone with a penis
You're earring is so big in my mouth
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
