I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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