Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
