I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Who died my cat blue again?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize