Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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