Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
