ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
