Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
