Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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