This is not my ceiling
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
