I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
and you said cock pushups were impossible
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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